I have a thing for chaps.
Just saying it makes me happy. Chaps.
In my formative years, I experienced a booking snafu that cemented my interest in chaps. Chicago hosted the 1989 Catholic Forensic League Nationals (speech team nerds like yours truly, and the Catholic nuns and priests that judge them) and the 1989 Mr Leather Competition (leather daddies and the assless pants aficionados that love them). On the same weekend. In the same hotel. The lobby was resplendent with moustaches and wimples, bare cheeks and rosary beads, dog collars and clerical collars. It was glorious.
2 decades later, I am proud to say that I own a pair of chaps. Cycling chaps. Assless rain pants.
Now, the last bit of rain gear I invested in gets no respect from either the Euro cycle chic crowd or the hairshirt & high-viz local riders. And honestly, they're not that wrong. But these Rainmates chaps ... I love 'em. They roll up or disappear in my bike bag, and deploy quickly to keep the important part of my legs dry (the bottoms get a bit damp, but who cares - they flap around and dry out). They come with optional lower leg coverage, for protection from car splashes. And they're not sweatboxes like every pair of rain pants I've ever tried. My new winter uniform - denim & chaps, on a leather saddle. Whoopie tee yi yo, y'all.
But before anyone gets all "ja, but are you made of sugar? you will not melt, why do you need such devices?" on me, first I'd like to say that no, I am not made of sugar.
I'm made of pop rocks and crack, thank you very much.
And second, I hate soaked thighs and cold knees, and I'm not afeared to admit it.
And third, I saw you up on Copenhagenize riding around with an umbrella, so who are you to talk? You can have your cycle chic. I've got my cycle cheeks.
Images censored to hide my taut Globes from impressionable eyes. That's my "Blue Steel (is Real)" look on the right. You're welcome.
So, dear readers. Are you made of sugar? While it's true that we do generally shed our new cyclist's fear of the wet, I know I'm not the only one out there making some dorktastique rain attire choices. What's in the closet? Wool skivvies? Oversocks? Rain capes? I'd love to know.